[ No, not so for her at all. She rarely keeps distance with anyone if she can help it, especially with those she has some care for? Not a bleeding chance. A trait she'll end up burying some turns beyond this, but for now...
There's still warmth there, and an affection layered over years of just opening herself to every experience she could enjoy. And the Exarch, it seems, needs to be able to gain a little something more to what he's been putting himself through.
Though his words do make her gaze grow slightly sharp for a moment— while she wouldn't ever demand something he couldn't give, it's his willingness for something she knows he probably doesn't expect that concerns her. What she wants is selfish— a show of affection in a way she knows she can't get here with any sincerity because there's so much else to worry about.
But even the strongest of heroes needs to rest their head in the arms of comfort sometime or the other.
She's no hero, and she's certainly no benevolent and mysterious guardian of the crystarium. She's just a matriarch uprooted from her home and family, of the mostly normal life she was living and understood into one she does not.
And when the one person who has given her the care that while not exclusive to her, still makes her feel like she's a presence than just an existence? Of course these feelings will turn more affectionate.
But she isn't one to back down once welcomed— and her hand lifts to slide her fingers under his chin, lifting his face until she can at least have the certainty that he's looking at her before—
She simply leans in and closes the distance between their mouths in what becomes a tender, but gentle enough kiss that gives her answer for her. It's soft, not insistent or rough— but it is given, and one that's not meant to be taken innocently.
If he decides to move away— he'll be able to. But she's going to keep him there until he does, because by Menphina— she's wanted to do this for a while.
But wanting to kiss him— well. That might have been a more recent desire, once she was certain it wasn't just her loneliness causing it.
She does, however, break the kiss briefly to whisper- ]
... and if the payment is having you to myself like this, without you seeing it as repayment? With you seeing my care for you and returning it, even if it's just for as long as I can stay with you? Would you still want to give it?
[ She's still letting him back off if he wants. She definitely doesn't see herself as anyone remotely important enough to him and his mission for this to last any longer than it should.
But she wants it for as long as it can be, even if this stolen kids is all it will be. Her care isn't going to go away if he rejects her. ]
[ A century is a long time to learn and the Exarch has had that and more when the years are all added up. Yet compared to the vast expanse of things there are to know it's little more than a drop's worth. Perhaps that can serve as an excuse for, when Megumi takes his chin and tilts his face up towards hers, he nervously wonders if she's trying to see under his hood and almost reaches to hold it down.
The feel of her breath against his lips finally has him realizing the truth, thankfully. ]
Meg--
[ The tenderness is an even greater shock. As bold as Megumi is with him, freely taking his hand and even lifting him up off his feet, the Exarch honestly expected to be pressed against the tree they're under. Instead it's soft, gentle, warm and...it aches.
There's a tremor in his breath when they part, the Exarch lowering his gaze and struggling to collect himself. He's clutching his own robes with his free hand and he can't remember grabbing them, what's visible of his face turning a deeper red with each heartbeat, all before she even speaks. ]
...Megumi, I...I'd not realized you felt this way...
[ Though now, in retrospect, admitting as much feels the same as calling himself a fool.
He can't. To do that to her, knowing what awaits him at the end of all this, would be a cruelty. Even if she knows it would be temporary she doesn't know how temporary, and she cannot know. She would try and stop him. She may well be successful.
And yet the feel of her lips stubbornly lingers. It has been so very, very long since anyone was so close to him and the shock of missing it is enough to rattle his resolve. Enough that it frightens him, how lonely he is. ]
[ She acted on her urge because she expected rejection. Because she knew— or rather assumed she'd be told that this would be all it would be and she'd accept it, laugh it off as a tease. She'd even prepared the words and practiced her reactions so any disappointment she felt would not show. That she'd remove herself from those thoughts with a clear conscience and without any guilt for either of them.
Instead, he asks to have time to consider and it's all she can do to keep herself from completely having her heart beat out of her chest.
( He wants to—...? )
It's shocking, yet exciting in realisation... and at the same time, it makes her wonder just how long the Exarch has gone without such intimacy to even bother to think of some random Matriarch he accidentally drew into this world— as an option at all to quell his wants.
Has he even thought of his own wants in this entire time?
Her hand remains on his jaw, not wanting to break contact yet. She can feel the ache in her chest that she's trying to stifle— the ache of hope. She's attempting to when she tries to tease, as she always does, wanting to reassure him that he can just say no. That she won't be sad. She is married after all, who knows how long it'll be until she sees her husband again and every excuse she can come up with—
But none reach her tongue. Not yet, not until her expression shifts to one of longing and she's tugging him forward—
Pulling him up close and having her arm lock around his back as she pushes their mouths together a little more roughly this time. While his hood is never pulled down, she still feels like he's vulnerable and bare before her and she wants, desperately, to give him just a little comfort where he wouldn't take it.
This time, with him pulled up against her, her hand pressed against his cheek and herself parting their mouths only when she's left his red and swollen, she finally speaks— ]
... aye. But I'm not about to be too patient if you take too long to answer. Especially when I don't know how long I will remain with you. So if you want me to not— say it so I'll hold back. Otherwise...
[ She's not about to stop this unless he absolutely tells her not to until then. Her fingers caress across that part of him that's crystallised between the warmth of his skin, and she can't help but tease— ]
— you're a bit too cute to hold back with when you're looking this flustered, you know.
[ And it's punctuated with a playful wiggle of her own ears, and a smile— understanding but not backing down. She's serious. ]
You ask for nothing for yourself and that's stupid— especially when you should be given what you're giving others. Don't— [ A glare! ] —protest that. You know it to be true. You wouldn't be panting like a catte in heat if you didn't agree.
[ Okay, maybe she said that to see how he'd react. But teasing is how she keeps the attention on others, rather than focusing on her needs. When she speaks again, she speaks softly, yet plainly: ]
... you can say no. I just didn't want to lie to myself about how I felt for you anymore. I'll accept whatever you choose. Promise.
[ Even if she would be turned down. But she really can't hide it— honest and blunt as she is, despite her trying her best to hide it all.
Somehow, with him, she can't, and even she doesn't know why. ]
I just want you to not be as alone as I've been. That's all.
[ Watching those emotions flash across Megumi's face...he should not have given in to his own weakness. This is bound to end in tragedy if it's allowed to continue. He must apologize to her and then tell her no. It's the kindest thing in the long run...
But then he's pulled forward, pulling a startled noise out of his throat as well, and there is the kiss he'd been expecting. Fierce and joyful and overwhelming. He'd thought such a kiss would be too much too soon and thus be easier to resist.
He was an utter fool.
The Exarch's lips are soft despite the lack of use, soft and pliant, easy for her to draw in as deep as she likes. Somewhere along the way he goes from clutching his own robes to grasping for her, an unsteady hand finding purchase on her shoulder. Holding, too afraid to push her away but just as uncertain about drawing her closer. Not that they can be much closer than they are, not without-- ]
...mn...
[ A drop of heat falls through his center, making his legs shift in something dangerously like a squirm, hands clutching tighter until he really is left kiss-drunk when Megumi finally lets up.
They are in terrible danger.
He can only listen for a time, panting as he tries to sort his thoughts apart from his feelings, which gives Megumi more than enough time to have her say. It isn't until the 'catte in heat' remark that he has to say something. ]
In heat?! [ Though embarrassed squeaking is not exactly a compelling counterargument. Especially not when she's told him plainly she likes to see him flustered. ] M-Megumi...
[ The crystal cutting into his cheek seems an even deeper blue for how his skin reddens around it, deep enough he can feel the heat emanating from his skin. Still, she offers him an escape, a chance to do the wiser thing...yet that drop remains, smoldering now, ready to burn with greater incandescence than the primordial light above. He can try to smother it, push it aside and bury it deep...but it will never go out. Not after an awakening like that.
Does she truly know how lonely he's become? And what she's done in stoking that need? ]
...what you ask for...is unwise. Deeply unwise. And I believe you know it to be so...
[ It would hurt him too, of course. But at least that is a pain he is still well braced for. ]
I cannot give you the answer we both want lest you tell me true: would you still have it?
[ "Danger" is probably an understatement there, considering how much risk they can face and the loss that can come of it. She's managing to adapt to the dangers of this world, but there's the danger of failure— of losing hope.
She knows she doesn't want to lose that spark of hope she's found in the Exarch to keep herself going. Right now, it's not her son or husband. They're safe where they are, and who knows when she'll see them again. They will remain as part of her heart.
This is her now. And a small huff of a breath escapes her when he makes his comment. Ah, certainly unwise. But her ears do lift from where they'd flattened over her long hair, and she watches what she can of his face. As much as she'd joke she likes her men rugged and strong...
She also likes them cute and soft, much like the Exarch is. One of them has to be the tough one, don't they? She chuckles at her own thought, even if it can look like she's being amused at his words. She doesn't hesitate as she keeps her arm around the Exarch, both of them kneeling and pulled close against each other— and leans in to reply, with no hesitation: ]
If it's with you, I'll go ever upwards or tumbling down, so long as what we have isn't shattered, Exarch.
[ Whatever form that takes, she'd made her peace with accepting what came of it. Her gaze remains gentle, even if she can smell the rise of excitement from him— she is a miqo'te after all. She nuzzles his nose affectionately, a soft purr reverberating from her as she slides a hand down to hold his on her.
Slowly peeling herself back, she brings both her hands to close around it, and look up at him. ]
... you don't need to give me anything you don't want to, or feel like you can't. It's not my place to demand anything more of you. But...
[ She's trying not to get too worked up here. ]
Do you want this as well, everything said? Not just because I'm offering... but because it's coming from me at all?
[ Because that'll at least tell her to reel herself in, even if she doesn't have any intention of giving up on what she's promised him there. And yet, some part of her dreads him saying something that'll amount to him acknowledging it for no other reason beyond his care— that ever-gentle care he gives everyone who turns to him.
It's the one thing she truly is dreading at this point, that she'll have yet again pushed her wants onto another. And she doesn't want him to ever feel obligated to her that way. ]
There's no other way for it to end. Even if the Exarch finds some way to send back the souls he summoned without forfeiting his own life, he cannot return to a place where he already exists. They will be forced apart someday and whatever they might have would be doomed from the start no matter what they choose to do.
And yet when has that ever stopped him before? This whole world is doomed but he cannot believe that makes their efforts to survive, to save it, worthless. A smile begins to form on his lips. ]
What a fool I am.
[ How could he have forgotten?
Megumi's touches continue to linger, from the warmth of her kisses to the tickle of that purring nuzzle. So much more he's been given in less than a bell than what he's allowed for epochs. Does he want more? She makes a very compelling argument, yes...and as for from her specifically? ]
It is true that I hadn't realized the depth of your feelings... [ He is a fool, after all. ] ...so it may be that my answer will not suffice. However...
[ The Exarch looks down at his hand in hers, head tilting as his smile softens, turning almost wry. ]
You are a strong woman, Megumi, both in body and in will. Few would be as forward with me as you have been. Fewer still, I think, would have been permitted. [ And then, finally, the Exarch reaches with his other hand to return the hold. ] Though the feelings I have for you are not ones I have had the chance to fully explore, to me that speaks volumes of their nature.
[ They will be forced apart sooner or later and who knows how things will go once she's returned to her world. She already knows the risks— the pain that could and will follow...
But if it's for these moments, she doubts she'll regret living them for as long as she can have them. And if he's accepting it... she pauses to look at him holding her hand in return as she holds his and her ears lift up and flutter a bit. For once she's quiet, feeling that pulse of heat swarm through her and enter her cheeks, and she lowers her head with a quiet chuckle. ]
That's more than I thought I would get. I'd be the fool if I didn't accept that in return.
[ Her heart is racing, unable to control how excited this makes her. There's a lot she's considering and thinking over.. her behavior with her previous lovers won't do here. At the same time... the normalcy of something like this is just as necessary, and she lifts her gaze to meet his, as best as can be seen. ]
We can take it at whatever pace feels right, then. Though I'd be lying if I said... that's going to make me hold myself back in private.
[ He's still the protector of the Crystarium, their Crystal Exarch. She wouldn't want to compromise the image he's built around himself.
Lifting their joint hands, she presses a kiss to the back of his knuckles over his crystallised hand and smiles a little more brightly now. ]
... then all that's left to say is that I want to love you the way you haven't been able to, all this time. Whatever form that takes... I want to give you that. For as long as it can be given.
[ She's not asking for a Happily Ever After with him, or an admission of true love. That only exists in stories. What she wants is for him to experience some pleasure, some joy. And she wants to be given the chance to give it.
Her expression grows amused, though. ]
Calling you "Crystals" doesn't sound very affectionate now, though. But I'll stick to it since I imagine calling you my "beloved" is going to leave us both flustered. Unless... there's something else you'd rather I use?
[ He's from her world... did he have a name there? ]
[ Hearing the word 'love' is an even greater cause for blushing, though this time his red cheeks surround a nervously excited smile. Holding back himself is growing increasingly impossible but her reminder is a welcome one, they can and most likely should take this at a gentle pace. He can reign in his own foolishness at least that much. ]
As long as you will allow me to do the same for you.
[ He isn't alone in putting others first at the expense of himself, after all. Perhaps that's what's drawn them together...
The question of pet names gets the exact sort of fluster she was talking about, the Exarch laughing and ducking his head briefly, even as his hands squeeze hers. ]
People will grow suspicious were you to stop calling me 'Crystals', I fear. They may assume you've grown cross with me. When we are alone, however...
[ He does have a name. Or he did. But perhaps now is a good time to exercise some of that restraint. He lets go just enough to hold his fingers to his lips, falling back into his normal, secretive self only this time offering an unspoken invitation for Megumi to be in on the secret. ]
...something to discuss in due time, after we've returned to the Crystarium. You've done a fine job reinvigorating me for the remainder of the journey back and if we were to linger any longer Lyna may well sense aught amiss and search for us personally.
[ And he keeps his word. Though there will always be certain things she cannot know, in the coming days he opens himself up with great care and only with the promise that they will remain between them and them alone. Being able to do so feels both like a risk and a comfort. He had bared all to Urianger once before in order to obtain his aid, but never again have they spoken of it. Why would they? To do so freely with Megumi, even sparingly, even in secret...
The weight lifts from his shoulders in those brief, blessed moments. That alone makes it all a risk worth taking. ]
[ That's all that needs to be said on that, but their return is otherwise uneventful after that. At the very least, she spares him the embarrassment of bridal carrying him all the way back—
Though the days past that are the ones she truly does cherish. Learning about him, bit by bit when they do chance to be alone— it's something she knows she can't be careless with. But as time progresses, she too welcomes him more and more until it becomes quite obvious to the others in the Crystarium that there's something happening. Nothing that they can immediately call out or discuss, but anyone with a sharp eye would notice the hidden smiles, the flick of her tail lingering close to him, or the fact that the Exarch would wander out from places no one would expect him to be in.
But she is responsible for his health, as she assigns herself to it, much to the whispered giggles of the others at the infirmary— and she enjoys it all anyway without giving away anything in particular. The Exarch's own elusiveness helps, and she laughs about it as she meets with him in the chambers past the Ocular.
Has it been moons already? Time feels so hard to gauge here, but the comfort forming there has been intensified with the moments of intensity in their intimacy. Even her appearance seems to have changed, now adopting more styles of the world they're currently in.
One night, as she's cleaning up with his medication to set the trays aside, she stretches as she looks over at him. ]
... so the little group of children that play as you added a new character to their story. The Radiant Dragon, protector of the moon. She's sending the Exarch on a quest to find the three magical stones of the shadows to save the Crystarium.
[ No prize for guessing where they got that inspiration from. ]
... they didn't know what a moon was, by the way. When I told them, they didn't believe me.
[ She turns and walks over to where he is, draping her arms around his shoulders from behind. ]
You should come play with them again. They like seeing you around, love.
[ And so does she, but that goes without saying. ]
Moren may have a few illustrated tomes for them if you've made them curious enough. Though a drawing may not do the moon justice their imaginations will handle the rest.
[ As welcome a respite as Megumi's company is, the Exarch does not allow his work to fall behind. He is close now, having reached the Leveilleur twins several weeks ago (the greeting Alisaie gave him having been mended with Megumi's help) and has come upon a new idea. It will take more planning and research of course, enough to make even his eyes grow weary after a time. And it's as if Megumi knows, or has learned, exactly when that is beginning to happen.
Even still, the Exarch managed to keep a tome open on one knee while also following Megumi's instructions. He would never say his health suffered before she appointed herself as his personal physician, his link to the Tower saw to that, but he will admit he's felt different since she began her work. More energetic...or maybe it's due to her company and nothing more. Either way he's more than glad to cooperate when she comes to him, tray of medicine in hand.
Especially more recently, he is reminded as Megumi offers a gentle embrace. The Exarch's smile softens, eyes closing as he finally puts the tome down on a nearby stack. ]
Soon. Soon there will be time...
[ He lets himself lean slightly back against her, reaching for her arms to return the touch. His hood is down, these moments in his personal chambers being the only time he removes it, giving his ears the chance to move and brush against her cheek. ]
[ He might not particularly need it, but he still only has a body that has to maintain his vitality after all. She's been watching over him, even as his work begins to grow in earnest— with more people being drawn into the First, people that they've become aware are tied to the Warrior of Light.
She wonders how long she's been away from home, herself. Is her son alright? Her husband and brother? Her tribe...? Though in the end, she knows that missing them and mourning their absence will do nothing for her. His words do make her smile wryly though, as she bumps the side of her head against his. ]
Don't make promises you can't keep.
[ A gentle admonishment as she gives the side of his ear a little nip for the cheek tickle, and slowly peels herself away, only to offer her hand to take his and urge him to sit down on the floor cushions with her. Her hands go to his waist, making him sit comfortably, and without much ceremony, she leans in to have their mouths meet again. It's a soft, inviting kiss, savouring his lips and the flavour of him, before she nuzzles his nose with hers. ]
I will admit it was mildly entertaining watching that pretty elezen give you a piece of her mind.
[ She hasn't spoken to any of the Scions herself, leaving that interaction to the Exarch. She doubts she could provide them with anything of use or comfort, even if she is, like them, from the Source and trapped here.
But she doesn't really see it as a bad thing, especially with what's happening now. And right now, all she's focused on is the glitter of his red eyes, the warmth in his face and the lush sensation of heat from his body. A stark difference to when they first met, where disappointment and stress had been cloaking him like a shroud.
Her fingers trace over his jawline, over the shimmering blue crystal that matches the construction of their surroundings, and at least for now, for a short spell, she's doing what she knows to do best. Making him take a break. He's likely learnt by now that unless it's something of absolutely dire consequence (which is when she won't interrupt him at all)— she will break him away from work to rejuvenate and re-stimulate his thoughts otherwise.
And this is one of those times.
Soft purrs emanating from her as she steals a few more kisses, she urges him close until she's got him relaxing and seated comfortably against hershe's the dude there descriptions are hard.
But, it's enough to make her relax as she strokes back his hair and her tail moves to gently coil around his. ]
You're looking better, though. Things seem to be looking up for you, Raha. I'm guessing this means you're seeing more progress. Would that I could help, but I wouldn't know where to start.
[ With his knowledge as it is, all she can offer is her sharp memory and just reading through the tomes he's already pored over. She remembers details, texts and information without error most of the time, but it's all she can do right now. She's no mage of high caliber or a hero.
As much as she does try to be at times, without really intending to. ]
You are tensing up, here. What's gotten you so wound up?
[ Even if she can't help with heavier problems, she can at least listen. ]
LE GESP
Date: 2019-12-12 12:46 am (UTC)There's still warmth there, and an affection layered over years of just opening herself to every experience she could enjoy. And the Exarch, it seems, needs to be able to gain a little something more to what he's been putting himself through.
Though his words do make her gaze grow slightly sharp for a moment— while she wouldn't ever demand something he couldn't give, it's his willingness for something she knows he probably doesn't expect that concerns her. What she wants is selfish— a show of affection in a way she knows she can't get here with any sincerity because there's so much else to worry about.
But even the strongest of heroes needs to rest their head in the arms of comfort sometime or the other.
She's no hero, and she's certainly no benevolent and mysterious guardian of the crystarium. She's just a matriarch uprooted from her home and family, of the mostly normal life she was living and understood into one she does not.
And when the one person who has given her the care that while not exclusive to her, still makes her feel like she's a presence than just an existence? Of course these feelings will turn more affectionate.
But she isn't one to back down once welcomed— and her hand lifts to slide her fingers under his chin, lifting his face until she can at least have the certainty that he's looking at her before—
She simply leans in and closes the distance between their mouths in what becomes a tender, but gentle enough kiss that gives her answer for her. It's soft, not insistent or rough— but it is given, and one that's not meant to be taken innocently.
If he decides to move away— he'll be able to. But she's going to keep him there until he does, because by Menphina— she's wanted to do this for a while.
But wanting to kiss him— well. That might have been a more recent desire, once she was certain it wasn't just her loneliness causing it.
She does, however, break the kiss briefly to whisper- ]
... and if the payment is having you to myself like this, without you seeing it as repayment? With you seeing my care for you and returning it, even if it's just for as long as I can stay with you? Would you still want to give it?
[ She's still letting him back off if he wants. She definitely doesn't see herself as anyone remotely important enough to him and his mission for this to last any longer than it should.
But she wants it for as long as it can be, even if this stolen kids is all it will be. Her care isn't going to go away if he rejects her. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-12 10:11 pm (UTC)The feel of her breath against his lips finally has him realizing the truth, thankfully. ]
Meg--
[ The tenderness is an even greater shock. As bold as Megumi is with him, freely taking his hand and even lifting him up off his feet, the Exarch honestly expected to be pressed against the tree they're under. Instead it's soft, gentle, warm and...it aches.
There's a tremor in his breath when they part, the Exarch lowering his gaze and struggling to collect himself. He's clutching his own robes with his free hand and he can't remember grabbing them, what's visible of his face turning a deeper red with each heartbeat, all before she even speaks. ]
...Megumi, I...I'd not realized you felt this way...
[ Though now, in retrospect, admitting as much feels the same as calling himself a fool.
He can't. To do that to her, knowing what awaits him at the end of all this, would be a cruelty. Even if she knows it would be temporary she doesn't know how temporary, and she cannot know. She would try and stop him. She may well be successful.
And yet the feel of her lips stubbornly lingers. It has been so very, very long since anyone was so close to him and the shock of missing it is enough to rattle his resolve. Enough that it frightens him, how lonely he is. ]
...might I have time, to consider?
stolen KISS* omg
Date: 2019-12-13 12:35 am (UTC)Instead, he asks to have time to consider and it's all she can do to keep herself from completely having her heart beat out of her chest.
( He wants to—...? )
It's shocking, yet exciting in realisation... and at the same time, it makes her wonder just how long the Exarch has gone without such intimacy to even bother to think of some random Matriarch he accidentally drew into this world— as an option at all to quell his wants.
Has he even thought of his own wants in this entire time?
Her hand remains on his jaw, not wanting to break contact yet. She can feel the ache in her chest that she's trying to stifle— the ache of hope. She's attempting to when she tries to tease, as she always does, wanting to reassure him that he can just say no. That she won't be sad. She is married after all, who knows how long it'll be until she sees her husband again and every excuse she can come up with—
But none reach her tongue. Not yet, not until her expression shifts to one of longing and she's tugging him forward—
Pulling him up close and having her arm lock around his back as she pushes their mouths together a little more roughly this time. While his hood is never pulled down, she still feels like he's vulnerable and bare before her and she wants, desperately, to give him just a little comfort where he wouldn't take it.
This time, with him pulled up against her, her hand pressed against his cheek and herself parting their mouths only when she's left his red and swollen, she finally speaks— ]
... aye. But I'm not about to be too patient if you take too long to answer. Especially when I don't know how long I will remain with you. So if you want me to not— say it so I'll hold back. Otherwise...
[ She's not about to stop this unless he absolutely tells her not to until then. Her fingers caress across that part of him that's crystallised between the warmth of his skin, and she can't help but tease— ]
— you're a bit too cute to hold back with when you're looking this flustered, you know.
[ And it's punctuated with a playful wiggle of her own ears, and a smile— understanding but not backing down. She's serious. ]
You ask for nothing for yourself and that's stupid— especially when you should be given what you're giving others. Don't— [ A glare! ] —protest that. You know it to be true. You wouldn't be panting like a catte in heat if you didn't agree.
[ Okay, maybe she said that to see how he'd react. But teasing is how she keeps the attention on others, rather than focusing on her needs. When she speaks again, she speaks softly, yet plainly: ]
... you can say no. I just didn't want to lie to myself about how I felt for you anymore. I'll accept whatever you choose. Promise.
[ Even if she would be turned down. But she really can't hide it— honest and blunt as she is, despite her trying her best to hide it all.
Somehow, with him, she can't, and even she doesn't know why. ]
I just want you to not be as alone as I've been. That's all.
tsk tsk Megumi, stealing all those poor baby goats...
Date: 2019-12-15 11:22 pm (UTC)But then he's pulled forward, pulling a startled noise out of his throat as well, and there is the kiss he'd been expecting. Fierce and joyful and overwhelming. He'd thought such a kiss would be too much too soon and thus be easier to resist.
He was an utter fool.
The Exarch's lips are soft despite the lack of use, soft and pliant, easy for her to draw in as deep as she likes. Somewhere along the way he goes from clutching his own robes to grasping for her, an unsteady hand finding purchase on her shoulder. Holding, too afraid to push her away but just as uncertain about drawing her closer. Not that they can be much closer than they are, not without-- ]
...mn...
[ A drop of heat falls through his center, making his legs shift in something dangerously like a squirm, hands clutching tighter until he really is left kiss-drunk when Megumi finally lets up.
They are in terrible danger.
He can only listen for a time, panting as he tries to sort his thoughts apart from his feelings, which gives Megumi more than enough time to have her say. It isn't until the 'catte in heat' remark that he has to say something. ]
In heat?! [ Though embarrassed squeaking is not exactly a compelling counterargument. Especially not when she's told him plainly she likes to see him flustered. ] M-Megumi...
[ The crystal cutting into his cheek seems an even deeper blue for how his skin reddens around it, deep enough he can feel the heat emanating from his skin. Still, she offers him an escape, a chance to do the wiser thing...yet that drop remains, smoldering now, ready to burn with greater incandescence than the primordial light above. He can try to smother it, push it aside and bury it deep...but it will never go out. Not after an awakening like that.
Does she truly know how lonely he's become? And what she's done in stoking that need? ]
...what you ask for...is unwise. Deeply unwise. And I believe you know it to be so...
[ It would hurt him too, of course. But at least that is a pain he is still well braced for. ]
I cannot give you the answer we both want lest you tell me true: would you still have it?
they're just cute and cuddly okay... she'll return them safely
Date: 2019-12-16 01:26 am (UTC)She knows she doesn't want to lose that spark of hope she's found in the Exarch to keep herself going. Right now, it's not her son or husband. They're safe where they are, and who knows when she'll see them again. They will remain as part of her heart.
This is her now. And a small huff of a breath escapes her when he makes his comment. Ah, certainly unwise. But her ears do lift from where they'd flattened over her long hair, and she watches what she can of his face. As much as she'd joke she likes her men rugged and strong...
She also likes them cute and soft, much like the Exarch is. One of them has to be the tough one, don't they? She chuckles at her own thought, even if it can look like she's being amused at his words. She doesn't hesitate as she keeps her arm around the Exarch, both of them kneeling and pulled close against each other— and leans in to reply, with no hesitation: ]
If it's with you, I'll go ever upwards or tumbling down, so long as what we have isn't shattered, Exarch.
[ Whatever form that takes, she'd made her peace with accepting what came of it. Her gaze remains gentle, even if she can smell the rise of excitement from him— she is a miqo'te after all. She nuzzles his nose affectionately, a soft purr reverberating from her as she slides a hand down to hold his on her.
Slowly peeling herself back, she brings both her hands to close around it, and look up at him. ]
... you don't need to give me anything you don't want to, or feel like you can't. It's not my place to demand anything more of you. But...
[ She's trying not to get too worked up here. ]
Do you want this as well, everything said? Not just because I'm offering... but because it's coming from me at all?
[ Because that'll at least tell her to reel herself in, even if she doesn't have any intention of giving up on what she's promised him there. And yet, some part of her dreads him saying something that'll amount to him acknowledging it for no other reason beyond his care— that ever-gentle care he gives everyone who turns to him.
It's the one thing she truly is dreading at this point, that she'll have yet again pushed her wants onto another. And she doesn't want him to ever feel obligated to her that way. ]
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Date: 2019-12-16 10:00 pm (UTC)There's no other way for it to end. Even if the Exarch finds some way to send back the souls he summoned without forfeiting his own life, he cannot return to a place where he already exists. They will be forced apart someday and whatever they might have would be doomed from the start no matter what they choose to do.
And yet when has that ever stopped him before? This whole world is doomed but he cannot believe that makes their efforts to survive, to save it, worthless. A smile begins to form on his lips. ]
What a fool I am.
[ How could he have forgotten?
Megumi's touches continue to linger, from the warmth of her kisses to the tickle of that purring nuzzle. So much more he's been given in less than a bell than what he's allowed for epochs. Does he want more? She makes a very compelling argument, yes...and as for from her specifically? ]
It is true that I hadn't realized the depth of your feelings... [ He is a fool, after all. ] ...so it may be that my answer will not suffice. However...
[ The Exarch looks down at his hand in hers, head tilting as his smile softens, turning almost wry. ]
You are a strong woman, Megumi, both in body and in will. Few would be as forward with me as you have been. Fewer still, I think, would have been permitted. [ And then, finally, the Exarch reaches with his other hand to return the hold. ] Though the feelings I have for you are not ones I have had the chance to fully explore, to me that speaks volumes of their nature.
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Date: 2019-12-16 10:36 pm (UTC)But if it's for these moments, she doubts she'll regret living them for as long as she can have them. And if he's accepting it... she pauses to look at him holding her hand in return as she holds his and her ears lift up and flutter a bit. For once she's quiet, feeling that pulse of heat swarm through her and enter her cheeks, and she lowers her head with a quiet chuckle. ]
That's more than I thought I would get. I'd be the fool if I didn't accept that in return.
[ Her heart is racing, unable to control how excited this makes her. There's a lot she's considering and thinking over.. her behavior with her previous lovers won't do here. At the same time... the normalcy of something like this is just as necessary, and she lifts her gaze to meet his, as best as can be seen. ]
We can take it at whatever pace feels right, then. Though I'd be lying if I said... that's going to make me hold myself back in private.
[ He's still the protector of the Crystarium, their Crystal Exarch. She wouldn't want to compromise the image he's built around himself.
Lifting their joint hands, she presses a kiss to the back of his knuckles over his crystallised hand and smiles a little more brightly now. ]
... then all that's left to say is that I want to love you the way you haven't been able to, all this time. Whatever form that takes... I want to give you that. For as long as it can be given.
[ She's not asking for a Happily Ever After with him, or an admission of true love. That only exists in stories. What she wants is for him to experience some pleasure, some joy. And she wants to be given the chance to give it.
Her expression grows amused, though. ]
Calling you "Crystals" doesn't sound very affectionate now, though. But I'll stick to it since I imagine calling you my "beloved" is going to leave us both flustered. Unless... there's something else you'd rather I use?
[ He's from her world... did he have a name there? ]
IN WHICH THERE IS A TIME SKIP
Date: 2019-12-16 11:53 pm (UTC)As long as you will allow me to do the same for you.
[ He isn't alone in putting others first at the expense of himself, after all. Perhaps that's what's drawn them together...
The question of pet names gets the exact sort of fluster she was talking about, the Exarch laughing and ducking his head briefly, even as his hands squeeze hers. ]
People will grow suspicious were you to stop calling me 'Crystals', I fear. They may assume you've grown cross with me. When we are alone, however...
[ He does have a name. Or he did. But perhaps now is a good time to exercise some of that restraint. He lets go just enough to hold his fingers to his lips, falling back into his normal, secretive self only this time offering an unspoken invitation for Megumi to be in on the secret. ]
...something to discuss in due time, after we've returned to the Crystarium. You've done a fine job reinvigorating me for the remainder of the journey back and if we were to linger any longer Lyna may well sense aught amiss and search for us personally.
[ And he keeps his word. Though there will always be certain things she cannot know, in the coming days he opens himself up with great care and only with the promise that they will remain between them and them alone. Being able to do so feels both like a risk and a comfort. He had bared all to Urianger once before in order to obtain his aid, but never again have they spoken of it. Why would they? To do so freely with Megumi, even sparingly, even in secret...
The weight lifts from his shoulders in those brief, blessed moments. That alone makes it all a risk worth taking. ]
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Date: 2019-12-17 12:20 am (UTC)[ That's all that needs to be said on that, but their return is otherwise uneventful after that. At the very least, she spares him the embarrassment of bridal carrying him all the way back—
Though the days past that are the ones she truly does cherish. Learning about him, bit by bit when they do chance to be alone— it's something she knows she can't be careless with. But as time progresses, she too welcomes him more and more until it becomes quite obvious to the others in the Crystarium that there's something happening. Nothing that they can immediately call out or discuss, but anyone with a sharp eye would notice the hidden smiles, the flick of her tail lingering close to him, or the fact that the Exarch would wander out from places no one would expect him to be in.
But she is responsible for his health, as she assigns herself to it, much to the whispered giggles of the others at the infirmary— and she enjoys it all anyway without giving away anything in particular. The Exarch's own elusiveness helps, and she laughs about it as she meets with him in the chambers past the Ocular.
Has it been moons already? Time feels so hard to gauge here, but the comfort forming there has been intensified with the moments of intensity in their intimacy. Even her appearance seems to have changed, now adopting more styles of the world they're currently in.
One night, as she's cleaning up with his medication to set the trays aside, she stretches as she looks over at him. ]
... so the little group of children that play as you added a new character to their story. The Radiant Dragon, protector of the moon. She's sending the Exarch on a quest to find the three magical stones of the shadows to save the Crystarium.
[ No prize for guessing where they got that inspiration from. ]
... they didn't know what a moon was, by the way. When I told them, they didn't believe me.
[ She turns and walks over to where he is, draping her arms around his shoulders from behind. ]
You should come play with them again. They like seeing you around, love.
[ And so does she, but that goes without saying. ]
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Date: 2019-12-19 06:04 pm (UTC)[ As welcome a respite as Megumi's company is, the Exarch does not allow his work to fall behind. He is close now, having reached the Leveilleur twins several weeks ago (the greeting Alisaie gave him having been mended with Megumi's help) and has come upon a new idea. It will take more planning and research of course, enough to make even his eyes grow weary after a time. And it's as if Megumi knows, or has learned, exactly when that is beginning to happen.
Even still, the Exarch managed to keep a tome open on one knee while also following Megumi's instructions. He would never say his health suffered before she appointed herself as his personal physician, his link to the Tower saw to that, but he will admit he's felt different since she began her work. More energetic...or maybe it's due to her company and nothing more. Either way he's more than glad to cooperate when she comes to him, tray of medicine in hand.
Especially more recently, he is reminded as Megumi offers a gentle embrace. The Exarch's smile softens, eyes closing as he finally puts the tome down on a nearby stack. ]
Soon. Soon there will be time...
[ He lets himself lean slightly back against her, reaching for her arms to return the touch. His hood is down, these moments in his personal chambers being the only time he removes it, giving his ears the chance to move and brush against her cheek. ]
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Date: 2019-12-20 12:05 am (UTC)She wonders how long she's been away from home, herself. Is her son alright? Her husband and brother? Her tribe...? Though in the end, she knows that missing them and mourning their absence will do nothing for her. His words do make her smile wryly though, as she bumps the side of her head against his. ]
Don't make promises you can't keep.
[ A gentle admonishment as she gives the side of his ear a little nip for the cheek tickle, and slowly peels herself away, only to offer her hand to take his and urge him to sit down on the floor cushions with her. Her hands go to his waist, making him sit comfortably, and without much ceremony, she leans in to have their mouths meet again. It's a soft, inviting kiss, savouring his lips and the flavour of him, before she nuzzles his nose with hers. ]
I will admit it was mildly entertaining watching that pretty elezen give you a piece of her mind.
[ She hasn't spoken to any of the Scions herself, leaving that interaction to the Exarch. She doubts she could provide them with anything of use or comfort, even if she is, like them, from the Source and trapped here.
But she doesn't really see it as a bad thing, especially with what's happening now. And right now, all she's focused on is the glitter of his red eyes, the warmth in his face and the lush sensation of heat from his body. A stark difference to when they first met, where disappointment and stress had been cloaking him like a shroud.
Her fingers trace over his jawline, over the shimmering blue crystal that matches the construction of their surroundings, and at least for now, for a short spell, she's doing what she knows to do best. Making him take a break. He's likely learnt by now that unless it's something of absolutely dire consequence (which is when she won't interrupt him at all)— she will break him away from work to rejuvenate and re-stimulate his thoughts otherwise.
And this is one of those times.
Soft purrs emanating from her as she steals a few more kisses, she urges him close until she's got him relaxing and seated comfortably against her
she's the dude there descriptions are hard.But, it's enough to make her relax as she strokes back his hair and her tail moves to gently coil around his. ]
You're looking better, though. Things seem to be looking up for you, Raha. I'm guessing this means you're seeing more progress. Would that I could help, but I wouldn't know where to start.
[ With his knowledge as it is, all she can offer is her sharp memory and just reading through the tomes he's already pored over. She remembers details, texts and information without error most of the time, but it's all she can do right now. She's no mage of high caliber or a hero.
As much as she does try to be at times, without really intending to. ]
You are tensing up, here. What's gotten you so wound up?
[ Even if she can't help with heavier problems, she can at least listen. ]